Here is how it works. You see the mistake of the first mouse; (read it as a mouse jumping into a loaded mousetrap to get a mouthful of cheese), and after witnessing the horror of the poor rodent nearly getting beheaded. You look twice, take the piece of cheese he missed, and make a note to avoid mousetraps that are not sprung.
Right now a picture of your anatomy is up for sale. So, tell me, how many celebrities has this happened to? How many celebrities has this happened to after a jilting a lover? Maybe that wisecrack you made about not bringing a girlfriend to the Olympics may have hurt somebody's feelings?
C'mon, get control of this "white-trash" image you are getting branded with and reboot some of your friends with individuals who are smarter than you. I have it on good authority that you have a big heart, are quite generous, and that you are very gracious. Resonate those traits please.
Deadspin is presently in negotiations with a person who is in possession of a photograph of a penis. The penis supposedly belongs to Olympic gold/silver/bronze swimming medalist Ryan Lochte. The photograph is a neck-down bathroom-mirror self-portrait, in which the tip of the penis almost but not quite reaches into the sink basin.
The provenance of the photo is less than ideal. It was allegedly taken for a now-ex-girlfriend of Lochte's.